Last night my friend told me about the subdued treatment he gets in Middle East. He is very decent, an IITian, works in one of the biggest oil and gas companies inthe world and earns much more than what people in India can only dream to earn at his age. Yet, he feels that he is not cared for, in a desirable way by the natives of that country. He says that Arabs treat him the way we treat slum-dwellers; and this is not because because they have more money or less talent. Its all because he is a
bachelor!!! What the heck!

Amazing to see that a person"s marital status commands so much of respect in the society. But he is in his early 20s and too young for marriage. So what??


You dont have a wife!! Means, your credibility is in danger. There, bachelors are not allowed to take flats on rent, so they have to become the bhateeja or bhanja of their married Indian flat-owners. Like my friend is the nephew of his flat owner. Don"t know how the gatekeeper, a gorkha, came to know about the truth and now both, the flat owner and my friend give him some money every month. Really sad, as if being bachelor is a sin :(


Interestingly, as soon as you get married, your respect quotient in society rises exponentially! Just imagine.. today somebody gives you a contemptuous look, "Sheesh! He"s a bachelor.. keep him away" and tommorow, you come back from
India, MARRIED. Now?? Now, people will call you for dinner.. you are not a wild dangerous animal, anymore. Your wife will tame you. You must be having at least something and that"s why that girl has fallen for you na.

Now the good thing is that this dislike for bachelorhood is a bit universal, I guess. It exists in India also. Most of the flat owners and land lords want family-waale tenants. As if the bachelors are orphans, they dont have a family at all. I remember, my ex-land-lady was really crazy about the marital status of her prospective tenants. Being married was not enough for her.. she wanted people with kids. Children add more credibility in your profile. People assume that a person with kids wont have time to do some illegitimate activities, like poking into your daughter"s life.

Well, my ex-land-lady"s craze had a substantial base. She once gave room to two young medicos, and one of them fell in love with her granddaughter only. I know, she had a real difficult time in throwing that man out. But this does not happen always.

Usually, people with a young wife or younger daughters are too finicky about
bachelors. But at times some old uncles too dislike unmarried guys. Unko rehne ka saleeka nahi hota.. Wo room saaf nahi rakhte.. Wo gande hote hain.. etc etc. Arre uncle.. kabhi aap bhi toh yahich karate the.. karate the na!!

And not only flat owners! People in general are really very rude towards bachelors! Apne Atal bihari Bajpai ji still get ridiculous remarks. "Jo bahu (wife) na juta paye..wo bahumat (majority) kya jutayenge".... too funny and of course.. our dear Kalam Sa"ab, whom people still ask, if he ever wanted to get marriage. One of my father"s friend is a bachelor and whereever he goes in evening... the hosts ask him to stay till dinner.. "..kya karenge apne liye paka ke.. apke ghar main to koi banane wala hai nai". Also, one of my relatives.. they have three siblings and none of them got married. Now people address them as, "...jinke yahan kisi ki shaadi nahi hui hai..."

Even bachelors need a compassionate and warm gesture. In any kinda bawaal,
police will catch them first. I remember, once we were going to a mall and there was a long queue at the door.. so there were 4 boys standing before us in that queue. They all were pretty decent, as me and mom judged in that half-n-hr, but as soon as their turn came, the watchman removed them from the queue forcibly, saying that they do not have any "family" with them. Now that was really rude and disrespectful. Can"t four brothers come for shopping together? Wont they make a family then? Or is it necessary to have a female company, everytime you make a
public appearance; otherwise you"ll be taken rowdy. That never made sense to me. I will kill that watchman if he dares to do this to my brothers.

I know, guys will have many more such sad experiences. It happens with them, everyday, just because their age or job or circumstances are not suitable for marriage. What I have experienced as a girl is, guys are much better than many middle age men. They are more decent and helpful at times. You can rely on them more and even if they tease you, they tease you in style.. unlike those uncles, who shud get a slap right away. I now know why they say - no life without wife.

So.. last words - Get married soon! Wives not only bring money, happiness and love.. they bring respect too!